After three years working in the ER and two years working in hospice, even I had to take a few breaks while watching A Certain Kind of Death, an hour long 2003 documentary based in Los Angeles and focused on what happens to the remains and possessions of those who pass away with no next of kin. While there are graphic images of the deceased during various stages of the process (from discovery of the body through cremation - consider yourselves warned), the film focuses primarily and respectfully on the business end: retrieval and identification of remains, attempts to discover and locate next of kin, storage of the remains, the cremation process, storage of cremains, accounting and distribution of assets... and finally, if no claims are made to the deceased within a set period of time (usually a few years, depending on local laws), mass burial of unclaimed cremains.
From ER to hospice, if there is a singular most poignant thing I have learned, it's that there is nothing sadder than caring for a person or the remains of a person who has literally no one able (or more sadly, no one willing) to claim them. To let go of the hand of someone who has died with literally no other hand to hold is one of the most devastating features of the work I've done, and an experience I've had too many times.
This documentary is 12 years old. If anything has changed on this subject, it's that the problem has gotten worse in many places. Case in point: Detroit. Toss in an aging baby boomer population, a large number of undocumented immigrants, and the fact that fewer and fewer of us live and die where we were born... The math isn't hard.
Stay connected. Write your advanced directives*, so that even if you die alone, those of us who find you can ensure you are not LEFT alone.
*linked site is for Wisconsin - friends/family in other states can find your state's applicable forms very easily with a quick Google search).
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